A response to: Matthew 11:16-19, 25-30
It took me so long to let go of all the things I still felt I “should” be doing when isolation began. Such a period of adjustment before I could even feel comfortable in my own skin.
My discomfort demanded my attention to such an extent, that I had to work to accept this quieter, slower pace of life.
I did my best to appreciate the wonder that was surrounding me. My beautiful family. My wonderful friends.
I listened to music I haven’t taken the time to enjoy for years!
And, when I still couldn’t quite find that space of isolated contentment that I was searching for, I meditated.
At the start of isolation, I would arrive at meditation frazzled, worried and uncomfortable. My head, full of materialistic Facebook posts demanding my attention like a small child. My conscience, heavy with the feeling that I SHOULD be doing more with the kids. My brain, hurting from still trying to juggle the many areas of my life, that now found themselves stuck in isolation together.
20 minutes of to-and-fro would follow.
A beginning of silence… rudely interrupted by a noisy voice calling me back to the thoughts and jobs that were waiting for me, back at the ‘surface’.
A deep breath… and I can swim a little deeper, further away from all that I could deal with after some time to be with MY self.
At the beginning of each meditation session, it seemed this was a hopeless venture. How was I to ever actually think of NOTHING???
What a surprise, to find that 20 minutes later, I could arrive back in the room, with a heart full of love, hope and joy.
Somewhere within this 20 minutes of to-and-fro, a silent path would lead the way to love, life and peace, that was already existing, deeper down, inside of me.
A gate would open, to an energy inside, helping me to let go of EVERYTHING else.
Somewhere deep beneath the surface, ‘God’ was sitting there, waiting.
In fact not even waiting, but simply there. Already ‘of’ me.
And in the greatest moments of peace and meditation, perhaps I could even feel that I was also, ‘of’ God.
Such a deep connection, to all that is truly important, and the essence of my life.
What a gift, to be able to meditate and connect to this energy, that renews and brings such a deep sense of hope and peace.
To be able to return to my regular life and to my family, with a burden that is no longer heavy, but light. With warmth and peace that I can always carry with me.
This song, “All Of The Days Of My Life” was written during COVID-19 ‘isolation’ to respond to and accompany Psalm 23. But here, I feel it fits well with this gospel reading that beckons us to come and find rest and peace.